Leslie: What if he shows up with another woman? What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly? What if instead of Tic-Tacs I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?
Ann: Those are all insane hypotheticals and I promise you they won't happen.
Leslie: They have happened. All of these have happened to me.[cut to Leslie being interviewed]
Leslie: Uh, no, there's more. One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine. Once I went out with a guy who wore 3-D glasses the entire evening. Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy's motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs. Another time I went to a really boring movie with a guy and while I was asleep he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple times after that but then he got weird.
 
Donna: Is he eating soup? On a bench? Alone?

 
Ann: When Andy and I used to go the movies, he would always try to guess the ending of the movie. And he would always guess that the main character had been dead the whole time. Even when we saw Ratatouille.
 
Donna: What is wrong with you today? Did they cancel Game of Thrones?
Ben: Nothing is wrong, just do your job. And they would never cancel Game of Thrones. It's a crossover hit. It's not just for fantasy enthusiasts, they're telling human stories in a fantasy world.
 
Leslie: We're called the Pawnee Goddesses and we're freakin' awesome.

 
Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

 
Ron: We have one activity planned: not getting killed.

 
Leslie: I've taught them too well. I've created a mob of little Leslie Knope monsters. I'm so proud.

 
Ron: Tammy 1 is my blonde chicken.
 
Perd Hapley: There you have it, where it is the thing Leslie Knope just said about this situation.